Chicago Bars, Clubs and Parties

“The Shoe” is that place you want to be dirty and old school. Drinks are strong, staff is friendly, Go-Go boys are usually cute, and for a decent tip you can take the one you are drooling over in the back for a private dance. Great jumping off point, or place to meet, or find an equally horny date for the night. Or end up if you struck out. Starting to host parties in the back lately. Ticketed events. Should be fun! 

Twinks, twinks and more twinks. Think Taylor Swift on the jukebox, cute AF twinks that weigh less than my right leg (probably hung as much as my right leg too btw) with their drunk girl posse. When I walk in the average age and weight doubles, and they think I am a cop, or I own the place. If you like Twinks and girl fun this is where you go. 

Sidetrack (one S, not Sidetracks!) is the spot to meet. Seven bars when its busy, smaller when its slow, it's been the staple for like 40 years, Watch the documentary “Art and Pep” for its history, started in the 80s and expanded constantly. The Winchester Mystery House of gay bars. Main Bar, Glass Bar, Side Bar, Cherry Bar, Disco Bar, Back Bar, Deck Bar. Where everyone goes and nearly everyone from Queens to Dolls to Circuit and everything in between goes. Lots of visitors, suburban and locals. Video bar with show tunes and sing alongs. Very fun. If you can’t meet some good people at Sidetrack, you’re the problem. 

Urban and hip hop. Great bar with strong drinks, friendly staff and more urban feel. DJs, music, dancing, dark and not at all seedy. Friendly crowd who wants to dance. 

Closed and sold recently. Opens for events. Bought by Tristan who owns The Abbey in WeHo and Mistr dot com. Typically younger, hosts brunch, bar food and sometimes parties. More to come I’m sure. 

One of three Replays. Forty beers on tap, local Chicago type dive bar for friends to meet. Free video games! Best patio in Boystown. Weekends when the weather is nice is shoulder to shoulder. Sundays there’s usually hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.  They really get into the holiday spirit as well. Windows open to Halsted for people watching. 

One to the newest bars to Boystown, Big Gay Sal's Pizza is the perfect spot to grab a bite and drink between bars, to end your night (Open late on the weekend), and more!  Check out their patio to chill out among the craziness of Boystown.  They have great weekday specials, awesome wings, sandwiches or grab a slice. 

Owned by Hydrate. Upscale cocktail bar. Get an Aviation, a Vesper and talk to your Tinder date. Or get wasted with friends. You’ll spend some coin. High end cocktails start at like $11. Splurge and impress your date. 

 The club for circuit, dancing, seeing and being seen. LOTS of pretty boys. Pecs and abs are staple. But don’t let that make you not go. It’s Chicago, we love all body types. Cubs, bears, chubs all dance and have fun. No one will hold you back but you. During the week enjoy any of their shows. Weekends are DJs like Dan Slater, Nina Flowers, Joe Gathreaux, weekdays are K-Pop, drag race, shows etc. Go-Go boys are always sexy. 

  Heavily Latino. THE Latin club on the north side. Huge club with great lighting sound multiple bars and a very heavy Latino clientele. If you’re Latin, enjoy Latins or Latin culture, this is for you. Hosts Brut, WEPA, Luxuria parties among others. 

 Karaoke neighborhood bar. If you love to sing, this is where you go. Friendly clientele and staff, plus you get to sing. Drinks are cheap, and crowd is mild. 

Closest thing you’ll get to a sports bar. Darts, pool, bears, jocks, sports gays and their admirers. Country feel. Cheap beers on tap, friendly clientele. 

 Old school. This is the type of bar I had in the 90s. Dirty, dank, rough, smelly. Before we were mainstream with Sidetrack cleanliness we had places like Cell Block. Cheap drinks, darts, pool, back room. Parties on weekends. Yes, you will be exposed to more.